"When constabulary duty's to be done, a (restroom) policeman's lot is not a happy one"

That old Gilbert and Sullivan ditty might well apply to the undercover cop in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport, who has become a figure in the news.

I wonder how he got the assignment. Perhaps he was promoted by his superiors to the head of the class.

He has a good chance to do a lot of reading. He could probably finish War and Peace while on duty.

During his workday he probably has to really use the bathroom. If he gets a shoe tap and a hand signal from the next stall while doing that, how does he handle it?

He would have been perfect for those old black-and-white quiz shows of the early days of television, To Tell the Truth and What's My Line?

In To Tell the Truth, three individuals with somewhat similar appearance would say something like "My name is Joe Blow and I am the head pots and pans scrubber at the White House." One would be the real guy and the other two fakes. By asking questions of the individuals, the panelists (usually three or four well-known individuals) would each vote on his/her choice as the real Joe Blow, following which the real Joe Blow would stand up and the two fakes would each give his/her real name and occupation.

In What's My Line?, an individual would appear with the host, John Daly, and give his/her name--like Joe Blow--and, as I recall, say where he/she lived and some other minor detail, like he/she was a Yankees fan. The TV audience (but not the panelists) would then be told that Blow was the head pots and pans scrubber at the White House. The panel, usually consisting of Dorothy Kilgallen, Arlene Francis, and Bennet Cerf, would pose all kinds of questions--like "Do you make a product or provide a service?"; if a service,"Do you touch the people you provide the service for?; if a product, "Is the product smaller than a basketball?" The panelists would then each make his/her guess about Blow's occupation.

I can see now three young men (the cop is reported to be age 29) on To Tell the Truth standing up and saying, "I am X, undercover police officer at the Minneapolis airport...." Or on What's My Line? and the TV audience being told who the guy is and the panelists probing him with questions.

I wonder if he takes a laptop computer with him while on duty to keep up with his e-mail, maybe to take notes for a duty report to his superiors, or whatever. I bet he could get a deal with Readers' Digest for an article titled something like "My Beat in the Men's Room", which he could write while actually on the beat.

I read somewhere that he has a master's degree from college. I suppose some of the courses he took were "Restroom Surveillance 302", or "Cruise Control 405", or "Foot Signaling 206."

When he gets home from work and his wife asks, "How did your day go, Honey?", I guess he might say, "Well, I collared a clergyman, a banker, and a doctor. The clergyman offered to pray for me to get a promotion from this crappy job, the banker offered me a job as chief security officer at his bank, and the doctor offered to treat me free-of-charge if I ever get claps from sitting on these toilet seats. I busted all three, they were a shoe-in."